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Do
Your Loved Ones Have a Hard Time Understanding Your Chronic Illness
or Pain, Because
to Them You LOOK Fine?
But You LOOK Good!
is a 52 page booklet that gives those
living with chronic illness and pain a voice about how they
feel, what they need and how others can be an
encouragement to them. It is a convenient, informative way to
educate loved ones about what people living with ongoing illness
and pain struggle with, fight for and need from their friends
and family. It is easy to read, gives practical ideas on how
loved ones can be supportive and is not too long for readers to
lose interest!
This booklet gets to the heart of why our
friends and family have difficulty with understanding ongoing illness and pain.
It serves as a tool to help explain to loved ones how extreme fatigue, pain,
dizziness, cognitive impairments and other symptoms can be limiting, even though
the person may not "look" sick or in pain. Moreover, it gives them simple,
pragmatic ways to truly be an encouragement, "What to say," "What not to say"
and "Why," along with "How to help." Often loved ones are enlightened as to why
their well-meaning advice is not always well-received. It is cherished by both
those living with illness or injury, as well as those who love them!

But You
LOOK Good!TM
A Guide to Understanding and Encouraging People
Living with Chronic Illness and Pain!
ONLY $5.25
or Less for Multi-Packs!
Price INCLUDES Shipping (slightly more for orders
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But You LOOK Good!
is printed and distributed by
The Invisible Disabilities
Advocate.
It is based upon the knowledge learned by the true life experiences of Wayne and
Sherri Connell, as well as countless others who live with debilitating
conditions.
Why This Book Was Written
All
of her life, Sherri Connell was an extremely active person who loved her
careers, singing and dancing in musicals, modeling, riding her horse and lifting
weights. She started having health problems when she was 14, but did not know
why. Despite chronic headaches, constant bouts with strep throat, the flu and
bronchial pneumonia, Sherri was an active, goal oriented "go getter." In
college, she studied Music Theatre, then obtained 2 Bachelor Degrees in
Business, with a Minor in Liberal Arts.
Although Sherri had enormous plans and goals,
her life took an unexpected turn. Just as she was plotting out her Master's
Degree, she was stopped in her tracks at the age of 27. Starting with another
winter bout of pneumonia, Sherri became paralyzed and so sick she could barely
sit up. She was hospitalized and diagnosed with Progressive Multiple Sclerosis
and it was later discovered she also had Late-Chronic Lyme Disease from a tick
bite when she was 14. The diagnosis really did not scare her, because she
figured she could still work and sing from a wheelchair. Nothing had ever
stopped her before and nothing was going to stop her now!
Much to her dismay, her health never improved,
but quickly worsened. Due to extreme flu-like symptoms such as bone-crushing
fatigue, severe nerve pain, cognitive dysfunctions, memory loss, dizziness,
heart arrhythmias, weakness, nausea and migraines, Sherri was never able to
return to work. This was extremely difficult for her, because she had been
working since she was 13 and her work was her life! She did regain some of the
use of her legs through much rehabilitation, but she still cannot stand very
long or walk very far. Sherri's life suddenly went from "on the go 24/7" to
struggling just to get to a doctor's appointment, get a meal or take a shower.
Despite the seriousness of Sherri's illness,
people often had difficulty understanding how she could "look good" to them,
even though she was very sick. Unfortunately, because of these misconceptions,
people often jumped to the conclusion that she was just being lazy, unmotivated
or was not trying hard enough. For a goal oriented, talented, career driven
person like Sherri, these notions were absolutely devastating. In fact, Sherri
wanted her life back more than anyone as she continued to go from doctor to
doctor, as well as try countless treatments, therapies and surgeries.
Unfortunately, Sherri remained plagued by
hurtful comments and assumptions from those around her. Determined to grasp how
people came to these conclusions, she began writing in her journal about her
losses and the responses of others.
In the article, "A Private Write," Rochelle Ratner explained, "The process of
forming thoughts into words and the physical act of drawing the hand across the
page, typing on a keyboard, or talking into a tape recorder slows rushing
thoughts and pulls the attention into focus."
Since Sherri continued to grapple with verbally explaining to people what she
was going through, she began printing copies from her journal to share with
others.
One day her husband, Wayne Connell, offered to
post some of her journal entries on the internet so that they could just tell
people, "Go check out the website," instead of stumbling to find the words to
explain. Much to Wayne and Sherri’s amazement, as the word spread like wildfire,
emails started pouring in from people around the globe. These readers who lived
with various chronic conditions told countless personal stories of losing
cherished relationships with friends and family members, because of the
complexities of their "invisible" disabilities. Nonetheless, people were
ecstatic to tell Wayne and Sherri that the journal entries had "put into words"
exactly what they had been trying to say to their loved ones.
Wayne
then discovered there were millions of other people around the world being hurt
by the same lack of understanding and belief that Sherri was experiencing. His
passion quickly grew from being his wife's supporter, to being an advocate for
all who are living with disabilities.
Thus, Wayne founded, The Invisible
Disabilities Advocate and compiled this booklet,
But You LOOK Good!, which contains excerpts from Sherri’s journal. This
booklet serves as a guide to enlightening people with "what to say," "what not
to say" and "how to help" someone living with a debilitating condition. In order
to give a voice to those living with chronic illness and
pain, IDA prints and distributes this booklet.
Proceeds go to IDA, a Non-Profit Organization.
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Help Loved Ones Understand!
"I just finished reading your booklet and feel like bawling in relief
that you have identified and eloquently described what is helpful and
what is not for people with chronic illness. You put into words what I
have felt for 20 years! Now I can pass this information on to my family
and friends and others who suffer." -Sandy, Colorado
Read More Testimonies on How This Booklet Has Helped Others!
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What People Are
Saying!
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"I always wished I could find a booklet like
this! The information on your site is great and since it's so hard to explain MS
or other invisible disabilities to others, I am grateful to you for writing your
booklet and making it available." - Brenda, Indiana
"Terrific insights and communicated
clearly...my husband said it finally opened his eyes to what I had been trying
to say all these years. Thanks." - Sue, New Jersey
"I just finished
reading the [But You LOOK Good] booklet and although I found myself
filling up with tears on almost each and every page, I enjoyed it
immensely." - Bonnie, Rhode Island
"My husband read [the booklet] straight away and I actually got a cup of
tea in bed this morning, what a treat!" - Kris, Australia
"This is the best book I have ever read in regard to invisible
disabilities...I have had such a hard time explaining what I go through
and how I feel. I cried and cried reading the book because it described
me to a tee. I think you are a wonderful person for putting all of this
in writing and making it understandable. Thank you so much." - Debbie,
Virginia.
"I encouraged my mom to order your book, But You LOOK Good.
She said it's helped her to better understand that [just] because I look
ok on the outside, doesn't mean I feel ok on the inside. I am grateful
for your site and your book, I don't think my mom would have ever
understood without it. She's passed it along throughout the family and
everyone who has read it so far has had a better understanding of what
just daily life does to me. Thank you so much for writing this book, and
sharing it with us, it truly has been a godsend to me." - Kelli,
Illinois.
"You have said what I have wanted to say to so many people for so many years. I
have suffered with Crohn's disease for 35 years. I have never been able to find
anyone who could really understand what it's like to suffer with an illness that
can affect every aspect of my life all the while, looking (for the most part)
normal on the outside. Not that I have been searching for pity, just some
understanding. My thanks goes out to you!"
- Matt, Washington
"My Dad used to hassle me every single time that I saw him. It had gotten to the
point that I rarely ever went to my Parents home anymore, and when I did it
would be for no more than 10 minutes at a time and the times were rare. I gave
my Mom and Dad each a copy of your booklet. I know that my Dad read the whole
thing. He has been transformed, literally. He never says a word to me about my
back injury anymore. He used to always say thing like 'You better hurry up and
get back to work, or your going to lose your job.' Plus he was always really
hostile to me over nothing. What an utter Blessing your booklet has been to me
in my life. You put on paper 'exactly' the words that people who have never had
a 'Chronic Illness' NEED to read. Thank you so very much for being responsible
for getting some of the people in my life to clearly understand what all I have
to go through just to manage to do the simplest of my daily needs, not to
mention all of the things that I do that lay me up for days at a time." - Jerry,
California
Read Testimonies About IDA From Those With Chronic Illness, Loved Ones,
Physicians, Authors and
More!
Read More Testimonies About The Booklet
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Use Them In Support
Groups!
"The members were
thrilled with the booklets! We had the group break into separate areas -
tn'ers & support persons, and had lively discussions for several hours.
The families and friends attending went over the booklets and discussed
how they related dealing with their loved ones. They found so many good
ideas and tips, it was truly an enlightening meeting for them!".....
Ruth, Pacific NW TNA Support Group Facilitator
www.tna-support.org |
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Table of Contents
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But
You LOOK Good!
A Guide to Understanding and Encouraging People
Living with Chronic Illness and Pain! |
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Contents of Book:
About
The Invisible Disabilities Advocate
What is an Invisible Disability?
About the Book
About
the Authors
Dedication
Thanks
Foreword: A Tribute to an American Heroine
Part One: But You “LOOK” Good!
What is a Chronic Condition?
But They Don't "LOOK" Sick!
They Have "Good" & "Bad"
Days, Right?
I Just Don't Understand!
What If They "Give In" to
the Illness?
*Read an Excerpt of Part One
Online!
Part Two: I Can Never Get it Right!
Why Can't I Say the Right
Thing?
Can't I Just Try to Cheer
Them Up?
Why Do I Respond This Way?
Part Three: I Never Know What to Say!
What Discourages Them?
What Encourages Them?
Part Four: I Never Know What To Do!
The Balancing Act!
Where Do I Start?
What Can I Do?
*Read
an Excerpt of Parts Three and Four Online!
Part Five: Conclusion
Being a Comfort in the
Storm.
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| Note! IDA reserves the
right to make changes, edits in content without notice; and, the booklet
differs slightly from the website! |
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